i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
