Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize