in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize