I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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