If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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