"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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