i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.