the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.