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I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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