doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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