K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
