Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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