Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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