I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
