p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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