Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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(224): View more from Illinois

I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

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(206): View more from Washington

I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(325): View more from Texas

She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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(256): View more from Alabama

I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.

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(734): View more from Michigan

my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

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(250): View more from British Columbia

holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?

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