I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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