i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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