did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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