I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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