I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize