do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
