A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
