we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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