matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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