I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We talked him into tasing himself.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
