he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
