She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
