yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
