Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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