Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
