man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
