let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
