Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
