could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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