i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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