I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the day after is always just damage control
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
