trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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