Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have feelings that need drinking.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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