Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
