my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
