id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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