There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
