I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
