:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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