I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
