A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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