Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
