Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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