When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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