I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
