Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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