my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
