Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
