He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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