Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize